This advice request made me very happy. Sharing my Anchovy Caesar Dressing to the world feels delightful. And helping men find love in the produce aisle (through healthy eating) is super sexy.
Dear Sara B.
I am a newly divorced father of 3. I think it’s time that I reenter the dating scene but I have no idea what to do and frankly I have no idea where to start. The only women other than my wife that I have seen on a regular basis have been at the grocery store. Sure I have caught the eye of one or two women in the produce, dairy, or cereal isles but I have always been with my kids and a shopping list. Is there any advice that you could give me to perhaps find love in the grocery store without coming across as too desperate?
And do you have a decent ceasar salad dressing recipe?
Grocery Store Dad
Dear Grocery Store Dad,
What you need are anchovies…
I would use the caesar salad dressing consumption as a long term project. Anchovies are the secret ingredient to longevity and great skin. For real. They are damn good for you. They taste great. And I want to emphasize their ability to make you glow from the inside out. And THAT…is sexy.
I don’t know about every woman, but I want my man to live long and vibrantly — and that includes having extra-strength cardiovascular power, and being free of diseases like cancer and diabetes. Anchovies are very rich in omega 3 oils (something most of us don’t get enough of), and help protect your body from lots of other less-desirable-in-a-man stuff, like poor eyesight, anxiety, depression, memory-loss, poor immunity. Anchovies are also rich in iron, and other minerals essential for strong bone health, like magnesium, calcium, phosphorus.
And they are amazing for your skin. Oh my. Who doesn’t like a man with a warm glow and soft hands. HELLO!! Yes, we do notice…even in the grocery store.
Seriously…healthy is sexy.
And… anchovies are tasty AF in a caesar salad dressing. I make my caesar salads with half kale hale romaine (because kale makes you feel good about yourself), but use either/or. (It’s really about the dressing anyway.) I also add crispy, hippy bacon and loads of parmesan and small, whole white anchovies and either homemade croutons or roasted chickpeas, depending on my mood.
Find the recipe below. But first…a couple more secrets to grocery store love:
A not-so-secret secret: Seeing a man who is loving and good with their kids is super hot for women. Especially if they are carting around a couple themselves. And let’s be real here…don’t you want to date a woman who likes that you have kids? So show those kids off!!
Another secret: Filling you cart with Doritos and cheap processed food is a total turn-off. Steer clear of the junk food aisles, stick to the outer parts of the store, and you will be fine. Let them in on your dirty-little-junk-food secret when she’s already fallen in love. Hang out around the produce aisle in the meantime.
See?! Fear not. There is love to be found at the grocery store. A bit of fishy/garlicky breath and an ability to prepare your lucky lady a yummy caesar salad is really all you need.
P.S. Anchovies flavour or smell (on your breath or otherwise) can be offensive to some women. (Not me. Yum.) But… do you want a women who thinks anchovies are offensive? No! You want them to love you, anchovies and all.
Tasty AF Anchovy Caesar Dressing & Salad
This dressing happens to be raw-egg-free. I did this because raw eggs make people panic. However, I add them anyway. If you’re feeling darling enough to look for love in a grocery store, then perhaps you’ll want to throw in an egg yolk or two.
- 1 bulb roasted garlic*
- 2 cloves raw garlic, minced
- juice of 1 lemon
- 1 Tbsp pickled capers + juice (or sub in more lemon)
- 1 tsp dijon or grainy mustard
- 1/2 tsp sea salt
- 1/4 cup freshly grated parmesan OR soaked walnuts, plus extra for topping
- 3 + 7-10 white anchovies, divided (sub in anchovy paste, if desired)
- 3/4 – 1 cup olive oil
- black pepper, to taste
- 1 head curly kale, stem removed, torn
- 1 romaine heart, torn or chopped
- 4 – 6 slices pastured thick bacon, chopped
- handful homemade croutons**
- *Roasted garlic: Heat oven to 400F. Cut top of bulb off until cloves are slightly exposed. Drizzle with a little olive oil, salt and pepper. Wrap in foil. Roast for 30 to 45 minutes, or until soft.
- **Homemade croutons: Preheat oven to 400F. Use up any stale baguette or sourdough bread you’ve got. Cut three or so pieces into cubes. Melt a couple spoonfuls of butter in a pan. Throw in a clove of roasted garlic, a little oil, some salt, and the bread cubes. Stir to coat. Place on a baking sheet and in the oven fro 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until toasted nicely. Set aside.
- Place roasted garlic, raw garlic, lemon juice, capers, dijon, salt, parmesan or walnuts, and three anchovies into a food processor. Puree.
- Slowly drizzle in olive oil, with the motor running, until smooth. Season to taste.
- Place torn kale in a bowl. Drizzle with some dressing and massage into the kale. You can do this a few hours before serving, or immediately before, if you wish.
- Add remaining ingredients, and more dressing, if needed. Chop the remaining 7 anchovies up, if you like. Toss and serve with extra grated parmesan.
Now…go get her, tiger!